Nov 17, 2011

Relationship in a rut??

No one person is perfect and no one relationship goes with out a fight or argument. It is prone to happen. The longer you know someone the more you learn about them and the easier it becomes to push their buttons when you feel hurt by them.

When it comes to marriage or a relationship that is running into turmoil and you are wondering if there is anything that can help repair....  I highly suggest reading, "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.

After reading this book (even though the copy I read was directed toward marriage and I'm not married), I have been able to look at every relationship I have been in and even my relationships with friends and family and realize what has been causing the other people in my life to feel unloved or what they have been doing that has caused me to feel unloved.

I was even in a very serious relationship in the past that ended badly. After reading this book, I have realized why things got to the point they did. We both were not speaking each others "love language." Had we been doing so, perhaps things would have ended differently. There also has to be the want on both ends to work things out.

Anyway, the five love languages are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

I learned my primary is Quality Time. I feel most loved by anyone I have a relationship with when we spend quality time together. This is what makes me most happy. Taking this away is also what makes me most upset and leaves me feeling unloved.

Now, don't pre-judge. The book goes and explains each love language deeply and even shows the differences between what helps or hurts someone who speaks the specific love language.

MY POINT IS!  ~  If you and someone you care about is having issues and feeling hurt out of your relationship... Check this book out. Read it, figure out what yours and the other person's love language is, and start working on speaking theirs. It can make a huge difference.

Nov 5, 2011

True Freedom. Easier than you think.

When asked what I wanted to be when I grow up... I never had an answer. I just knew it was something bigger than corporate America. It was something where I could run the shots and no one could tell me no or when or how. I didn't have a dream of becoming a doctor, lawyer, or big shot athlete... no, I knew there was something much bigger for me.

The more I read about Network Marketing and the turn of the 21st century... the more I now know what my calling is. I've always liked helping people, been artistic, inventive, self-driven, and able to see the big picture. I no longer want to be a slave to the modern 9-5 job trying to climb the corporate ladder only to be told when I can advance and have limits placed on what I can earn. I no longer want to wonder if I will still have a job tomorrow or a year from now.
No what I want is to create my own security that is fully dependable on just myself. I don't want a boss to answer to, time restraints on when I can sleep or take care of the important things. I want true freedom.

This is where network marketing comes in. Here my success is built soley on what I decide to do, how much time I decide to put in -  Everything is dependant on me. It is not only learning to build a business for yourself, but to build YOURSELF. To develop personally. To get out of your comfort zone and undo the brainwashing society has influenced the many generations before me.
It is a new day, a new age, a new generation. Those who made something of themselves, who's names lasted for generations past their death... they were the one's who oppossed what society told them was the 'right way' and instead they began to venture down different avenues. Minds were thinking outside the box.

Success is in every person's grasp, but it is up to that person to take a stand and do what is necessary to become successful. People do not have to go to college to become educated. No, education comes from trial and error. Learning to think for yourself and figure out the best possible solution.
If you want to succeed stop repeating the same process over and over again. If you keep reaching the same result, step back and take a look at what you are doing. Something has to change.

Sure I could look at switching jobs. Find something that has hours that better fit what I want, more pay, better insurance...whatever it may be. That is still thinking inside the box. I still will have limits on time and money potential. I would still end up with the same result. No, what I need is something that allows me the freedom to become my own boss, decide when I work and for how long, where the earning potential is limited only by the amount of effort I put in.
What I need is network marketing. What I have found gives me the power to chose. Freedom.

Oct 23, 2011

Life is a choice - you have the power

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. When something comes up how do you handle it? I use to get frustrated, worried, and stressed. Now I look at things that happen and ask myself, What can I learn from this? How can I make it better? What is the best solution? If I focus on the problems, I get more of them. I don't even see things as problems anymore; I just see things as results. The joy is in the journey, and the little challenges you have along the way are just the Higher Powers of testing you to see how bad you want something." ~ Adam Packard, Stay The Course

I live my life by the first part of this quote. You cannot change what does happen to you, but you can chose how to react to it. Things happen and they happen for a reason. People, opportunities, sadness, happiness, hurt, pain, joy, pride.... any of it can happen to you at any moment and there is never much you can do about it other than chose how to react to it.

The above quote is like the story of my life. I too use to be one to get frustrated, worried, and stressed when things happened. I use to look at things in such a negative way mainly because I would have preferred them to be different, but that isn't something I can control. I can only control how I let it affect me. You have the same choice to make to.
The three questions mentioned in the quote, "What can I learn from this? How can I make it better? What is the best solution?" ... Ask yourself these questions. Make it a habit. See what a new and different perspective it will open your eyes to.

Adam is right. You won't see things as problems anymore. You will see them as results. Results of how you chose to react to the things that happen to you. If you don't like the results you are getting, change what you are doing. Figure out what it is that will get the results you want.
If you want something bad enough, the challenges you face to achieve what you want won't hold you back. They will only test you to see how badly you want it.
How bad do you want it? Are you going to let the small bumps in the road stop you? Are you weak enough to give in an give up?
Life is a choice. And you have the power to chose. Only you can control your thoughts, your actions, your emotions. And only you can chose how things will affect you, how you will react to them.

How will you chose to react? Will it provide the result you are wanting? Will it lead you to where you want to go?

Oct 8, 2011

Be Your Own Boss - A No or A Go?

Recently I have been introduced to an online job opportunity that offers the chance to become your own boss and build your own business. Even though I am usually very apprehensive on joining such a business, after viewing and hearing the opportunity I decided to sign up.

The company is SendOutCards (SOC). Though I am a distributor for the online company, I do not work for anyone. I have access to promote and make commission off the online product. There is great potential for earning, but how much I earn is based off how much time and effort I put into building my customer base and adding to my team.
I have the ability to earn money two different ways: building customers and building a team.

To build customers is as easy as opening your mouth and asking one question, "Do you know anyone who could use this?" If they say yes then its a matter of taking 20 minutes to sit down with them and show what they get with an account and how easy it is to send a card that is completely customized. It's inexpensive (less than a dollar), convenient, personalized, has a contact database that allows you to set up reminders for anything specific to that person or business, and plus many more options. Most people will either know someone who would really enjoy the benefits of an account or could see themselves using the account themselves. There are two options for an account: Basic retail or a whole sale. Retail is great for those who want to send cards to friends and family. With a retail account you pay around 15$ a month which covers cards and postage, and are able to send anywhere from 4-6 cards (depending on how customized you want each card). Wholesale is great for businesses who want to show their customers they care or send reminders to customers about services or appointments. The Wholesale account has a start up cost of just under 400$ and a subscription every month after of 20$ (covering cards and postage). With a wholesale account, the cost of your normal greeting card is roughly $1.40 with postage. You receive around 100 cards with sign up, 2 personalized fonts (take your handwriting or someone elses handwriting and signatures and creates them into an actual font to use on your cards), plus a few other items.

SOC also offers the availability to earn extra income by purchasing an Entrepreneur package which gives you a license to promote. Out of every self starter business I have been introduced to (which has been many) this one is the least expensive to start and there is no real selling involved. Keeping track of customers is easy with their database provided with their account. It allows you to make dated notes with each contact and will post a reminder not only to your account but through your email. It is almost impossible to forget someones birthday, anniversary, party, or whatever event they may have in the future.

The second way to make money is to help get someone started as a independent distributor. Each person you get signed up to do what you are doing becomes part of your team or network. They don't work for you, but become more like a support and encouragement group. You do earn a little income off what they do, but anyone that you sign up or they sign up can surpass you in earning potential depending on how hard they work to build their business. (This is where the company is not a pyramid scheme). Your job is to help them get started and be encouraging. They aren't making you money, they are there to make them money and start their own business. To understand this more, takes more of a visual explanation than what words can possibly express.

To be your own boss has great potential. To start your own business has many benefits. The one thing to remember, both take hard work and dedication. It is not a make money quick scheme. It does take time and effort. Depending on how much effort you put in will determine your earning potential. Many people get sucked into job opportunities that promise quick money only to find out not only do they have to begin with spending a lot of money to get started, but to also stock up on products, find a way to track customers and purchases, and that earning potential is not as great as what they say.
With SOC, it does take time to build and it is up to you on how quickly you want to build your business. You do not have a product that you have to stock up and store somewhere. Your office is anywhere you have access to a computer and the Internet, and customer purchases are left to the customer (depending on how many cards they want to send).

I am always a skeptic on these type of jobs, but the potential of what I can earn is amazing and the capability to get started wasn't difficult or leaving me behind in bills. (Which I have a lot of and only work part time). For an example on what the possibilities are for earning: I have a friend who is in the business who worked as a dealer for Acura (sold new, high end cars). He was very successful in the car business and made a really decent living from selling cars. He began his business with SOC as a side job. With his drive to become his own boss and have his own business (with every perk that comes along with it) in less than a year he completely replaced his income and was able to quit the car dealership.

To be your own boss - Its a no if you do not have the drive or motivation to make your way and put in the effort if you find a business/product that is worth taking a chance on.
Its a go if you are self motivated, driven, and want to only have to answer to yourself.  

Sep 29, 2011

Reliable vs. Restless

There are two types of people: Restless and Reliable

Restless people are always moving, can't sit still, their minds are wondering, they want to explore and venture. They are the people that tend to take leaps without a second thought and tend to not think things through. These are the type of people who excel when it comes to new ideas and being creative at work (or school, church, or any other environment).

Reliable people are still, thought provoking, consider every possibility, are super dependable. They are the people who tend to think things through before acting and are very organized in their attempts to do things. These are the type of people who excel at setting out a designed plan of action. Found in accounting departments and office work where organization is key.

If we relate these two types of people to a car. Restless people are the creative body of a car while Reliable people are the engine and mechanics of the car.
Neither have a purpose and can do the job they were designed for without the other, yet both can exist separate from one another.
A body of a car can hold passengers and attract others, but they cannot get them to their destinations or provide the tools necessary to run. The engine and mechanics of a car can run separately when outside of a the body, but without the body of a car it is nothing but a well thought out machine with potential.

The same applies to Restless and Reliable people.
Without Reliable people planning and providing the mechanics to restless people, restless people tend to dwindle. They may attract others to their ideas, but without reliable people helping form those ideas into plans, restless people end up going no where.
Without Restless people forming new ideas and being creative, reliable people can come up with great organization and plans, but without the creative inspiration they just have a plan without anything to apply it to.

Every person may have a little bit of both in them, however each person has a stronger tendency to be more reliable or restless. Both people, although great on their own, cannot fulfill their purpose without the other. Though Reliable people may become annoyed with the spontaneous, cant sit still, want to jump into action right now behavior of the restless, restless people become annoyed with the organized, have to have a well thought out plan of action, take things step by step behavior of the reliable.

It is when these two types of people can learn to work together that the greatest challenges can be over come and their purpose can truly be fulfilled.

Sep 21, 2011

Two roads - One path

When leaving the comfort of our high school days, there are two roads we can chose from. The road to further our education and learn our independence in an educational environment, or the road of hard knocks and entering the adult world through working and living on our own.
I chose the second. When I began wondering down the road of becoming an instant adult, there was no doubt wondering across my mind with each step I took as to whether I would stumble or find my way with ease. The journey started out with minimal effort. I had a great job for someone of my age, bought a nice car, was living on my own, had pretty decent credit for someone as young as myself. Really hadn't run across any huge hurdles or beasts down the road I chose.
Then before too long, I realized I had been letting a snake slither along the path with me, trying to believe it wasn't causing me any harm and believing I had fallen in love with the creature. In my own foolish demise, I found this creature was the snake it appeared to be. Secretly causing me harm, slithering its way into the money I built up to keep myself safe, whispering in my ear as I slept convincing me to allow myself to buy into things, only leaving me with debt. I tripped and fell hard the day the snake decided to leave. Thought I could never make it back up, lost in the deep woods, scared that I wouldn't be able to carry on my journey.
As time passed, I learned I never needed the snake. That there are other creatures that were slowly following me along my journey, only showing themselves when I needed help the most, and then disappearing back into the darkness. I've learned hard lessons. Lesson's I would have been saved from if I had traveled down the road of education.

You see, the first road, the one that leads to education... It is a road bright and clear. It is hard work and takes dedication because it is a longer road to the final destination of becoming an adult, but it is well guided with many signs and direction. Those who journey down the road of education jump the hurdles of a couple tests, have friends (new or old) join them as they complete the journey together, have small camp fires during the night to celebrate with one another. Though it may be a longer journey, they have a bright path lined out ahead of them filled with new friends and a support team cheering them on or helping correct their steps. Unlike those who take the short cut into the working adult world... where its a short journey that we mostly experience on our own with our support team hiding in the shadows of the dark woods that surrounds our path. Learning the hard way and not finding many new friends along our path. Only finding stops to work a bit so we can pay the toll of setting out on our own. Most of us pass up the short cuts to the other road. Too busy trying to fight off the beast and vines of debt that surround us.

Sep 4, 2011

To stop expecting....

When you stop expecting the unexpected happens.

Have you ever realized when you set expectations so high for something to happen, it tends to not happen and you are left in disappointment?

People tend to dream or play out situations in their head, hoping or dreading a certain situation to play out the way they see it. Usually this leads someone to have an expectancy toward a situation which can either lead to disappointment or can lead to fear. The latter causing some situations to never occur or causing more complicated situations to arise.

Think of a time when you expected something to play out a certain way. When it finally did play out, did it happen the way you thought? Most of the time, it doesn't.

When you stop expecting situations to play out in the dream scape you have created in your own mind, you leave yourself open to less disappointment in life.

When you stop expecting... there is no expectations or thought up scenarios already existing....therefore the unexpected happens.

Not to say we can't have hope or dreams, but as humans we tend to linger on the things we want most and our minds become so intangled on our wants we end up writing our own fictional story.
You can't predict the mind of another, nor control their tendencies/actions.

Sep 2, 2011

Can we love?

"A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner. 'Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time.' When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, 'The one I feed the most.'" - George Bernard Shaw
From "No Bodys Perfect" by Kimberly Kirberger

Thought to ponder - Can we love ourselves if we are feeding the mean and evil dog most?

You have to learn to love yourself and be confident in who you are and what makes you unique before you can truly love others. My favorite part of the above quote is the response to which dog wins. Every person fights a constant self battle of good vs. evil, positive vs. negative in their head.
Both men and women are constantly feeding either their good or evil dog with positive or negative thoughts about themselves. When we feed most the evil dog, we neglect our self and how we feel about our self. Our confidence is lowered and we tend to not only show this in our attitude toward ourselves but also in our attitude toward others.

Within the book it discuss one girl who was in a relationship with a terrific guy. She had found her romeo, someone who truly loved her and did everything in his power to help build her up. However, she was constantly feeding the evil dog inside her head, destroying her own self image, the way she thought about herself. Her own worst enemy. She let the evil dog win.
When the girl lost sight of her own self love, it turned outward. She lost confidence in herself, she began to think her romeo was cheating or going to leave her, thinking he saw the flaws that she obsessed over in regards to herself and he had lost the love he had for her. This had not been the case. He did not notice these 'flaws.' He loved her for who she was, for her unique individuality. But, the relationship ended because her own demise of herself became so strong that she could not love her romeo the way he loved her.

When we cannot love ourselves, we obsess over the things we do not love, therefore destroying our love for those who love us.

Aug 30, 2011

Is there truth to an old Cliche?

We have all heard it at some point in our life.
"It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all."
But is this always true? To some who have found real love, spent time with their loved one, and then lost them to time this may be a true statement. However, what about those who have loved and lost but the loss was not from a long time spent enjoying the comfort of someone who loved or perhaps did not love them?
Time and time again I have heard the tragic stories of others who have fallen in love with another person only to have a short time tell that they fell in love with someone who could never love them.
In other words, two people meet but only one falls in love.
I have experienced this. I had once met the person I thought I could call my soul mate. Destined to be together. After about a year and a half I came to find the person I fell in love with was not the person I had standing in front me. The person I loved had turned out to be a long drawn out lie by someone who was such a good story teller they had me believing and hanging on their every word. Even after the lies came out, I held onto this make believe person I thought I knew but what I held onto was only a dream and a story that ended in my own demise.

Before I use to believe this cliche, "Tis better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all." Now I'm left having been in love, having thought I found the one person I could have dedicated my everything to... now alone, back in the single life, and believing that perhaps it would have been better to have never known real love then to have lost it.
The demise caused from such heart break, the hurt, the haunting memories leaves one to wonder if they could ever love again. To have such deep emotions and willingness to give someone so much devotion and dedication as you once had ... there is a fear of the same trap awaiting you once you give in.