Oct 3, 2013

Perfect as can be

I once had a joke between a friend of mine about who the "perfect" man for us would be. My friend would always say to me, "If you were a guy, you would be the perfect guy for me," or I would say, "If I could find a guy that was just like you, he would be the perfect guy for me." 
That never happened. The truth to the matter is, that friend drove me absolutely crazy with the way they were and even more so in the way they treated their relationships. Deep down I knew if I found a guy just like that friend, I wouldn't be anywhere near as happy as I wanted to be. I knew, down the road, I would eventually not want that relationship any more. The same ended up coming from that relationship with my friend. Eventually the friendship ended.

However, although the friendship no longer existed, the joke stayed with me. I continued to ponder the thought and later realized the only person I have ever known or met that I was truly happy with and loved more than anything was..... myself. I know that sounds conceded but it was true. Other people tended to disappoint me or I became easily aggravated. I have always had a different mind set than others and although I consider and respect others, there was still conflict. I never at the time of my 'light bulb moment' thought I would ever meet someone just like myself. At that point in time I figured I would probably end up alone and I became very okay with the concept. 

About a year or so after that revelation, I found myself entertaining new relationships with men through online dating sites. I never was on the sites to actually find "the one." I was simply filling my time with conversation. I did go on a few dates with some of the men and did meet some really awesome guys, but no one I had really met struck me as someone I could spend the rest of my life with. The relationships didn't last because I didn't want to waste their time or mine. They were on the site for a purpose, where I was on just to see what was out there. 

Eventually I ended up on one last site, which took a totally different approach on finding "matches." The site allowed people to answer question about a wide variety of different things. Based on the answers you chose and a few other calculating factors, they then would show you people who matched your answers to the same questions. You could also see the other questions those people had answered that you hadn't either (at first not being able to see their answers to your unanswered question) and then once you had answered the question yourself, you could see how you compared. It was very interesting. One of my matches I had was a 97% match. Every question we both had answered was exact with a few questions (that I had marked as not very important for being a match) were not matching. I was impressed and curious. The gentleman had ended up messaging me and after checking out his actual profile to see what he had wrote about himself and to see his pictures, I ended up becoming more curious. I messaged him back.

At first I wasn't too keen on his looks. He was totally different than what I was usually attracted to, but he wasn't unattractive either. Through our conversation, we hit it off. Always waiting and checking to see if the other had responded. Never was there a day we weren't communicating. Finally one day, he asked to have my number and to see if I would like to meet. I agreed because I was still curious and wanted to know him more. Plus, I had learned even though there is a connection online, there stood a chance of that connection not being there when you meet in person.

The day came for us to finally meet face-to-face. He was the first, out of the few guys from online, that I actually let come pick me up from my home. You never know if who you are meeting is a creep and trustworthy of knowing where you live. For some reason with him, I felt OK. When he showed up and at first sight, I became very hesitant on the physical attraction part. I was use to big, buff, bro type guys. All of which he wasn't. When the date first started we were both very shy, but seemed to be able to communicate just as well offline as we had been online. It soon became very evident on the first date that we were more like each other than what the website had shown. We were even able to finish each others sentences... it was as if we had known each other our whole lives!

Now, a little over a year into our relationship, it still surprises me how much alike we are. We live together and have plans for a future. There seems to never be a time where what one of us is thinking the other isn't thinking the same exact thing. So many times have I started to say something and with just one word out of my mouth, he finishes the rest of my thought exactly how it was in my head. There are even times when one of us is thinking something and doesn't say what we are thinking and the other one then says exactly what it was. 

I have finally found the perfect guy. I have found the guy version of me. Granted we have our slight differences, but the main foundation of who we are is the same. Our worries, fears, happiness, decisions, feelings... all the same. Who would have ever thought, that by chance online, you would meet that one person you had always been looking and waiting for.

No comments:

Post a Comment